HAPPY DAD'S DAY (To all the REAL Dad's)
Dad’s Day
I always say that no one needs to state who they are, but their actions should speak as to who they are and or are not.
As often stated, my dad was not a man who walked around proudly and claimed he was a dad as his actions spoke LOUD and clear.
My dad was not a man who just allowed a woman to have his children, but fathered the seeds. My dad had 3 and sometimes 4 jobs to supply our habits of eating, our strong desire to sleep inside a warm home with electricity, as well as the longing hope to have clothes on our backs and medication when needed. Often his brothers would call and asked, "And how is the family?" Now, I do not believe their inquiry was limited to my mother, the dog and the limited-lifetime fish, but my dad’s children as well.
I am very happy as well as pleased when I honestly say that my dad could easily answer the question, 'How is the family.'
Today, I ask, where are the dads? Can you proudly say I AM A DAD? Do you know the definition of "Dad?"
Microsoft Word provides the following definition of "dad" as: 1.) Father 2.) Male parent 3.) Progenitor 4.) Sire 5.) Parent.
The Super Thesaurus describes "Dad" as, 1.) Daddy 2.) Father 3.) Pop 4.) Papa 5.) Old man 6.) Parent 7.) Governor 8.) Protector.
The Holy Bible "heritage edition," states, FATHER, a word which means "protector" and has several meanings. It can mean an ancestor, (I Kings 15:11; II Kings, 14:3) a founder (Genesis 10:21; 17:4,5; 19:37) a benefactor (Job 29:16), a teacher (I Samuel 10:12), or an intimate relationship (Job 17:14). The position of the father as the head of the family finds its root in the patriarchal government (Genesis 3:16; I Corinthians 11:3). God is designated as Father of Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:17; I Corinthians 8:6), "the Father of light" (James 1:17), "the Father of spirits" (Hebrews 12:9), and the Father of man (Acts 17:26; Luke 3:8).
When referring to the Bible, the 5th commandment clearly states the duty of the children, however, the duties of the parents to the children are also strongly emphasized in the Scriptures. The job of the parent is to train the child to fear and respect the Lord and must refrain from provoking the child to unnecessary anger in order that the child will not be discouraged (Deuteronomy 6:7; Ephesians 6:1-4.)
If children are to be gifts from God, then why don’t we as parents do more to show appreciation and cherish the gifts by being parents to the child?
Let us not boldly proclaim our own self-given titles, but actually live up to the name we proudly wish to be acknowledged by; allowing our actions to show and speak for themselves.
For all of you REAL Dad’s, I can onlyyyyy simply say, THANK YOU!
Thank You for getting up all hours of the day and night to tread to work so that your children can enjoy the necessities of food, electricity, clothes, and a roof over their heads. Thank You for chastising your children when needed and thereby keeping them from harming others, but worse yet, themselves. And though tired, Thank You for staying up late to tell them bed time stories even when they feel they are too old to be read to and tucked in. Thank You for staying up late at night, securing the home, and making them feel safe. In lieu of blaming the lack of concern in our education system, Thank You for taking the extra time to help them study and finding the answers to not only the questions in their study books, but in life as well. Thank You for taking the time in not only saying you love them, but showing it as well. Thank You for being dads and not just a donor of life but donating to an enriched life for your children. Thank You for showing – being a role model for your male children and teaching your female children how to get along in this life. Thank You for being there when the mom’s could or would not. Thank You for teaching them that they must be aware of their own actions/accountability, thereby teaching them respect and responsibility. Thank You for teaching them how to save money as well as to spend wisely. Thank You for being a reflection of what a REAL MAN is and that his/her heritage is something to be held to the highest esteem and hence should be carried on with the same integrity.
I Thank You, MEN [REAL MEN] for putting all of your selfishness aside and sacrificing your own needs by putting your children first. To all of the MEN, who are and are not biological dad’s, Thank You for being a parent for the children.
The children Thank You for teaching them how they too can be prosperous and active dads in years to come. In addition, they Thank You for teaching them right from wrong and how to care for you in your old age.
For that reason, I simply wish to say, Thank you!
I find the following article most interesting and most of all, sad but true:
Taki S. Raton, wrote, "Fathers Day" For The Black Man Has Yet To Be Earned. Quoting from a speech delivered by The Rev. Dr. Patrick T. O'Neill of the First Parish Unitarian Universalistic Church in Framingham, Massachusetts, Dr. Joy Degruy Leary in the opening prologue to her book "Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome" shares a traditional greeting in the Masai culture.
"Among the most accomplished and fabled tribes in Africa," quoting O'Neill, "no tribe was considered to have warriors more fearsome or more intelligent than the mighty Masai.
"It is perhaps surprising, then, to learn that the traditional greeting that passed between Masai warriors was 'Kasserian ingera' as one would always say to another, 'And how are the children?'"
This greeting, notes the excerpt, underscored the high value that the Masai places not only on the well being of the children but also on the security and well being of the family and community. So to the question, "And how are the children," the response being, "The children are well," the unsaid inference is that the families and the community are safe and secure both from within and from without.
If the men of any group are not doing well; if at any time in the historical corridor the men become defeated and consumed by another, then eventually the family and the community will evolve into a self-destruct mode. A group, a culture must always ensure that their men are strong, able bodied, mentally cultivated and culturally spirited. Then and only then will the families and community remain secure.
Presently 141 years after the Emancipation Proclamation, the Black man today is at his weakest point here in 2006 then we have ever been. Our children are not doing well. Our families and our communities are not safe and secure. Our future remains in serious question.
What happened to the role, duty, responsibility, obligation, expectation, and charge of the Black man to ensure that his family and community are secure and protected both from within and from without? All other men protect their families and communities. Why Can't we?
What happened to our role as provider and protector of our African/African American "beingness"? Just where is our Kingdom, Black man. And by the way - how are the children on this Fathers Day? Where one to read the April 4, 2006 edition of the Chicago "Courier" newspaper, you would find that Chicago based Black Star Project founder and executive director Phillip Jackson responds by noting that our children are fighting a war amongst themselves and against their communities:
"Many Black children are out of control. They swear, fight, vandalize, challenge authority and exhibit overly aggressive behaviors. They have a reckless disregard for virtually any social norm, rules, or grace," he says.
Quoting a study by the Advancement Project entitled "Education on Lockdown: The Schoolhouse to Jailhouse Track," the article notes that in the Chicago public school system of 434,419 students, 29,700 students were suspended in the 2002-2003 school year and possibly up to 3,000 students were expelled in the 2003-2004 school year.
According to the Public Education and Black Male Students: A State Report Card study released in 2004, only 41% of Black males in the United States graduated from high school in 2001-2002. That would be only 4 out of every 10 Black men.
This report surfaces the lowest graduation rates for Black males in 20 districts with Black male enrollments of 10,000 or more during the stated period. Cincinnati for example had a Black male enrollment of 15,340 with only 19% graduating; Cleveland records a 25,973 Black male enrollment with only 19% Black males graduating. The Black male enrollment for Milwaukee during this period was 29,893 with only 24% graduating. In Chicago, the numbers are 112,040 with 30% graduating and in Charlotte-Mecklenburg, North Carolina, the Black male enrollment was 23,947 with only 34% graduating.
The Black male homicide rate is seven times the white male rate and a young Black male in America is more likely to die from gunfire," according to these statistical quotes, "than was any soldier in Vietnam." One in every 21 Black men can expect to be murdered, a death rate doubled that of U.S. soldiers in World War II as noted by Black Star.
Leary writes that throughout recorded history, people have been subjected, enslaved, and at times come very close to extermination and that these "crimes against humanity" are perpetrated, even today, in a seemingly "never-ending cycle."
She adds, however, that upon the conclusion of any horrific holocaustic encounter, each group must first "see to their own healing. No other group can mend the scars of another."
Her book, as above stated, is entitled "Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome" which she defines simply as "the residual impact of multi-generational trauma unhealed."
The author says that the slave experience "was one of continued, violent attacks on the slave's body, mind and spirit. Slave men, women and children were traumatized throughout their lives and the violent attacks during slavery persisted long after emancipation. In the face of these injuries, those traumatized adapted their attitudes and behaviors to simply survive, and these adaptations continue to manifest today."
We have not healed from slavery. We have been carrying, perpetuating and even cultivating this psychological trauma now for 141 years. Leary says that there is no way that a group can undergo 246 years of trauma under the North American enslavement era and not be scared as a result. Within this historical corridor, the Black man, his woman and his child became defeated and consumed by another man.
We have not reversed this process. We have not reclaimed a lost African humanity that was taken from us. Therefore, unlike the Masai, we eventually, as men, have nothing to past down to our children. And integration, obviously, was/is not the answer. Given the current status of Black men in America, the plight of the Black family, the fact that today there are 1.2 million more Black women then Black men in the available mating and marriage arena, the continuing and regenerative socially denormed behavior of our children and the apparent ongoing demise of our urban communities across the country.
Taki S. Raton is founder and principal of Blyden Delany Academy, a private African Centered school in Milwaukee, Wisconsin serving children in K4 through 8th grade. The writer can be contacted at (414) 933-1130.
©Keeba Smith
Hankered Writer and Feared Compressor
K Smith is a columnist for Black Denver Speaks, an author, and social issues commentator
KSmith023@yahoo.com
I always say that no one needs to state who they are, but their actions should speak as to who they are and or are not.
As often stated, my dad was not a man who walked around proudly and claimed he was a dad as his actions spoke LOUD and clear.
My dad was not a man who just allowed a woman to have his children, but fathered the seeds. My dad had 3 and sometimes 4 jobs to supply our habits of eating, our strong desire to sleep inside a warm home with electricity, as well as the longing hope to have clothes on our backs and medication when needed. Often his brothers would call and asked, "And how is the family?" Now, I do not believe their inquiry was limited to my mother, the dog and the limited-lifetime fish, but my dad’s children as well.
I am very happy as well as pleased when I honestly say that my dad could easily answer the question, 'How is the family.'
Today, I ask, where are the dads? Can you proudly say I AM A DAD? Do you know the definition of "Dad?"
Microsoft Word provides the following definition of "dad" as: 1.) Father 2.) Male parent 3.) Progenitor 4.) Sire 5.) Parent.
The Super Thesaurus describes "Dad" as, 1.) Daddy 2.) Father 3.) Pop 4.) Papa 5.) Old man 6.) Parent 7.) Governor 8.) Protector.
The Holy Bible "heritage edition," states, FATHER, a word which means "protector" and has several meanings. It can mean an ancestor, (I Kings 15:11; II Kings, 14:3) a founder (Genesis 10:21; 17:4,5; 19:37) a benefactor (Job 29:16), a teacher (I Samuel 10:12), or an intimate relationship (Job 17:14). The position of the father as the head of the family finds its root in the patriarchal government (Genesis 3:16; I Corinthians 11:3). God is designated as Father of Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:17; I Corinthians 8:6), "the Father of light" (James 1:17), "the Father of spirits" (Hebrews 12:9), and the Father of man (Acts 17:26; Luke 3:8).
When referring to the Bible, the 5th commandment clearly states the duty of the children, however, the duties of the parents to the children are also strongly emphasized in the Scriptures. The job of the parent is to train the child to fear and respect the Lord and must refrain from provoking the child to unnecessary anger in order that the child will not be discouraged (Deuteronomy 6:7; Ephesians 6:1-4.)
If children are to be gifts from God, then why don’t we as parents do more to show appreciation and cherish the gifts by being parents to the child?
Let us not boldly proclaim our own self-given titles, but actually live up to the name we proudly wish to be acknowledged by; allowing our actions to show and speak for themselves.
For all of you REAL Dad’s, I can onlyyyyy simply say, THANK YOU!
Thank You for getting up all hours of the day and night to tread to work so that your children can enjoy the necessities of food, electricity, clothes, and a roof over their heads. Thank You for chastising your children when needed and thereby keeping them from harming others, but worse yet, themselves. And though tired, Thank You for staying up late to tell them bed time stories even when they feel they are too old to be read to and tucked in. Thank You for staying up late at night, securing the home, and making them feel safe. In lieu of blaming the lack of concern in our education system, Thank You for taking the extra time to help them study and finding the answers to not only the questions in their study books, but in life as well. Thank You for taking the time in not only saying you love them, but showing it as well. Thank You for being dads and not just a donor of life but donating to an enriched life for your children. Thank You for showing – being a role model for your male children and teaching your female children how to get along in this life. Thank You for being there when the mom’s could or would not. Thank You for teaching them that they must be aware of their own actions/accountability, thereby teaching them respect and responsibility. Thank You for teaching them how to save money as well as to spend wisely. Thank You for being a reflection of what a REAL MAN is and that his/her heritage is something to be held to the highest esteem and hence should be carried on with the same integrity.
I Thank You, MEN [REAL MEN] for putting all of your selfishness aside and sacrificing your own needs by putting your children first. To all of the MEN, who are and are not biological dad’s, Thank You for being a parent for the children.
The children Thank You for teaching them how they too can be prosperous and active dads in years to come. In addition, they Thank You for teaching them right from wrong and how to care for you in your old age.
For that reason, I simply wish to say, Thank you!
I find the following article most interesting and most of all, sad but true:
Taki S. Raton, wrote, "Fathers Day" For The Black Man Has Yet To Be Earned. Quoting from a speech delivered by The Rev. Dr. Patrick T. O'Neill of the First Parish Unitarian Universalistic Church in Framingham, Massachusetts, Dr. Joy Degruy Leary in the opening prologue to her book "Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome" shares a traditional greeting in the Masai culture.
"Among the most accomplished and fabled tribes in Africa," quoting O'Neill, "no tribe was considered to have warriors more fearsome or more intelligent than the mighty Masai.
"It is perhaps surprising, then, to learn that the traditional greeting that passed between Masai warriors was 'Kasserian ingera' as one would always say to another, 'And how are the children?'"
This greeting, notes the excerpt, underscored the high value that the Masai places not only on the well being of the children but also on the security and well being of the family and community. So to the question, "And how are the children," the response being, "The children are well," the unsaid inference is that the families and the community are safe and secure both from within and from without.
If the men of any group are not doing well; if at any time in the historical corridor the men become defeated and consumed by another, then eventually the family and the community will evolve into a self-destruct mode. A group, a culture must always ensure that their men are strong, able bodied, mentally cultivated and culturally spirited. Then and only then will the families and community remain secure.
Presently 141 years after the Emancipation Proclamation, the Black man today is at his weakest point here in 2006 then we have ever been. Our children are not doing well. Our families and our communities are not safe and secure. Our future remains in serious question.
What happened to the role, duty, responsibility, obligation, expectation, and charge of the Black man to ensure that his family and community are secure and protected both from within and from without? All other men protect their families and communities. Why Can't we?
What happened to our role as provider and protector of our African/African American "beingness"? Just where is our Kingdom, Black man. And by the way - how are the children on this Fathers Day? Where one to read the April 4, 2006 edition of the Chicago "Courier" newspaper, you would find that Chicago based Black Star Project founder and executive director Phillip Jackson responds by noting that our children are fighting a war amongst themselves and against their communities:
"Many Black children are out of control. They swear, fight, vandalize, challenge authority and exhibit overly aggressive behaviors. They have a reckless disregard for virtually any social norm, rules, or grace," he says.
Quoting a study by the Advancement Project entitled "Education on Lockdown: The Schoolhouse to Jailhouse Track," the article notes that in the Chicago public school system of 434,419 students, 29,700 students were suspended in the 2002-2003 school year and possibly up to 3,000 students were expelled in the 2003-2004 school year.
According to the Public Education and Black Male Students: A State Report Card study released in 2004, only 41% of Black males in the United States graduated from high school in 2001-2002. That would be only 4 out of every 10 Black men.
This report surfaces the lowest graduation rates for Black males in 20 districts with Black male enrollments of 10,000 or more during the stated period. Cincinnati for example had a Black male enrollment of 15,340 with only 19% graduating; Cleveland records a 25,973 Black male enrollment with only 19% Black males graduating. The Black male enrollment for Milwaukee during this period was 29,893 with only 24% graduating. In Chicago, the numbers are 112,040 with 30% graduating and in Charlotte-Mecklenburg, North Carolina, the Black male enrollment was 23,947 with only 34% graduating.
The Black male homicide rate is seven times the white male rate and a young Black male in America is more likely to die from gunfire," according to these statistical quotes, "than was any soldier in Vietnam." One in every 21 Black men can expect to be murdered, a death rate doubled that of U.S. soldiers in World War II as noted by Black Star.
Leary writes that throughout recorded history, people have been subjected, enslaved, and at times come very close to extermination and that these "crimes against humanity" are perpetrated, even today, in a seemingly "never-ending cycle."
She adds, however, that upon the conclusion of any horrific holocaustic encounter, each group must first "see to their own healing. No other group can mend the scars of another."
Her book, as above stated, is entitled "Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome" which she defines simply as "the residual impact of multi-generational trauma unhealed."
The author says that the slave experience "was one of continued, violent attacks on the slave's body, mind and spirit. Slave men, women and children were traumatized throughout their lives and the violent attacks during slavery persisted long after emancipation. In the face of these injuries, those traumatized adapted their attitudes and behaviors to simply survive, and these adaptations continue to manifest today."
We have not healed from slavery. We have been carrying, perpetuating and even cultivating this psychological trauma now for 141 years. Leary says that there is no way that a group can undergo 246 years of trauma under the North American enslavement era and not be scared as a result. Within this historical corridor, the Black man, his woman and his child became defeated and consumed by another man.
We have not reversed this process. We have not reclaimed a lost African humanity that was taken from us. Therefore, unlike the Masai, we eventually, as men, have nothing to past down to our children. And integration, obviously, was/is not the answer. Given the current status of Black men in America, the plight of the Black family, the fact that today there are 1.2 million more Black women then Black men in the available mating and marriage arena, the continuing and regenerative socially denormed behavior of our children and the apparent ongoing demise of our urban communities across the country.
Taki S. Raton is founder and principal of Blyden Delany Academy, a private African Centered school in Milwaukee, Wisconsin serving children in K4 through 8th grade. The writer can be contacted at (414) 933-1130.
©Keeba Smith
Hankered Writer and Feared Compressor
K Smith is a columnist for Black Denver Speaks, an author, and social issues commentator
KSmith023@yahoo.com
posted by Keeba Smith | 6:09 PM
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